Tuesday, April 3, 2012

There's sugar in the bone...


My great-grandmother was a somewhat eccentric lady that I was lucky enough to get to know for the first few years of my life. She had four children, twelve grandchildren, and more great-grandchildren than I can name without help.

Every summer, the entire family would gather at Mamaw Freeman's house. She lived in an old country farmhouse with a big wrap-around porch and a large front room where she would sit and receive her visitors. I always had to wait in line to get to her chair. The line would wrap through the house as children and adults alike waited to share hugs and kisses with her.

Her hands were strong, even in her old age, and callused and knotted from years of picking cotton, canning vegetables and mending boo-boos. She would put those slender hands on each side of my face, lean down from her chair, and kiss my forehead with a hundred little pecks. Each time, she would smile and say, "There's sugar in the bone."

Mamaw was a great story teller. She would entertain us for hours by telling us what things were like when she grew up, painting pictures of a world that seemed so far away from our lives in the 90s. She assured us that she never got in trouble as a child, and we should try to be just a good as she was. She only got one whipping in her entire life, and it wasn't even her fault. Mamaw Freeman had sugar in the bone.

She taught us to be sweet from the inside out: to love God, to help others, to pray about everything, to laugh and to enjoy life. I didn't live up to my Mamaw's perfect behavior record. Few people could have. But down deep, there's sugar in my bones.


Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Are you available?

Our God is all-powerful. He can do anything that He wants. And yet, He chooses to use us - unreliable, imperfect people - to carry out His will. He chooses to work in our lives; not because He needs us, but because He loves us.

I was listening to the Ty Show on WDJC tonight and heard Matt Pitt, the founder of The Basement (a huge youth rally in Birmingham). He was talking about how God uses ordinary people to do extraordinary things. I love this quote from him:
"God doesn't need your ability. He needs your availability."

This is so true! Need proof? Check out the New Testament. When Jesus began His ministry, He didn't go to the Temple to find strong religious leaders to be His disciples. Instead, Jesus called on normal, common men that were a little (or in some cases, a lot) rough around the edges. He called Peter, a hot-headed fisherman. He called Matthew, a tax collector. He called James and John while they were in their fishing boat.

When Jesus met these men, He didn't ask them what abilities they had that would help His ministry. He didn't ask them about their strengths and weaknesses. He simply asked them to follow Him. He didn't need any ability that they had. He just needed for them to be available and for them to be willing to walk with Him.

That's all God is asking of us today. He doesn't need a list of your talents. He knows what they are already because He blessed you with them. He doesn't need a list of your weaknesses and excuses. He already knows about them, and He has the power to overcome them. All He wants is for us to follow Him.

When we choose to be available for God, He will take our ordinary lives and make them extraordinary.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

The Regulars

The sun was just starting to come up, painting the sky with bright fuchsias and dusty pinks and oranges when I pulled into the half-paved parking lot of the Kountry Kitchen. The long, narrow brick building stands on the west side of town and is known for its cheap coffee, flaky biscuits, and free gossip. I parked between two dusty pickup trucks and walked inside.

A man in a navy blue work shirt and dark jeans sat at table by the door, sipping from an old ceramic coffee mug. He nodded at me and raised the bill of his faded camouflage cap as the bell over the door announced my entrance. “Mornin’.”

I tried to smile, despite how early it was. “Mornin’.” I ordered a biscuit with strawberry jelly, bacon, and a Dr. Pepper. The waitress gave it to me in a white paper bag. It only cost $3.46.

The walls were cinderblock, painted white and splattered with blue and red paint. Pepsi-Cola signs, American flags, and pictures of little boys in overalls covered the walls. There was a big table in the front of the restaurant, by the register, with eight chairs tucked around it. The rest of the space was filled with wooden booths. I took my bag of food and sat in the back corner booth.

Three men were sitting together in a booth next to the table. Two of them were in overalls and one was wearing faded jeans and a brown Carhartt jacket. They talked about farming while they nursed their coffee cups. The man that had greeted me occasionally leaned back in his chair to join their conversation.

I could hear dishes clinking in the sink and bacon sizzling on the grill. The bell over the door dinged loudly, announcing that another customer had arrived. Everyone turned to the door and greeted the older couple that walked in by name. The woman, dressed in khaki pants and a red sweater, poured herself a cup of coffee while the waitress reached under the counter for a bottle of vanilla coffee creamer. The woman smiled and poured more creamer into her mug than coffee. The man with her was tall and slim. He took his coffee black and stopped to talk to the man at the front table before he sat down with his wife.

“Ding!” A man in a black t-shirt and camouflage pants walked in, followed by a man in jeans and a grey work shirt. They stopped at the counter for their coffee, then sat down at the front table. A third man came in, poured his own coffee and offered to refill cups for everyone else. He joined the rest of the men and they leaned forward on their elbows and fell into easy conversation.

The three farmers stood up, all needing to go feed their animals now that they had fed themselves. They counted out their money down to exact change before they walked to the register. The waitress didn’t bother to add up their orders. She just took their money, smiled, and called, “Have a good day!” behind them as they left. They were regulars.

The men at the front table were in deep conversation about the price of gasoline, football, and small-town gossip when the waitress brought out food that they hadn’t even ordered yet. They were regulars.

An older man dressed in a grey t-shirt and shorts and wearing a camouflage Dale Earnhardt, Jr. baseball cap walked in. He wandered from booth to booth, shaking hands with everyone and exchanging small talk. They called him Jimmy. He nodded at me and smiled, but I could tell he was wondering what I was doing there. I am not a regular.

A young girl in a green plaid shirt, dark jeans, and black boots came in, said “mornin’” to no one in particular, exchanged a few bucks for a white paper to-go bag and left within thirty seconds. A few more people did the same. They all had exact change ready, so they must have been regulars.

The sun finally decided to come up and peek through the large picture windows in the front of the restaurant. One of the men at the front table stood up to demonstrate something to the group. They had started talking about construction. The man in the grey work shirt rubbed his fingers over the stubble on his chin and listened intently. They all nodded in agreement, and whatever dilemma he’d had about adding onto his garage was solved.

I crunched on a piece of bacon while I listened to the men laugh. The cook came out of the back with a to-go plate in her hand. “Your order’s ready, Jimmy,” she called.

More coffee was poured and forks and knives clinked against ceramic plates. The waitress brought out a new pot of coffee and set it on the warmer by the register. Steam curled up from the pot and filled the small restaurant with a strong, earthy scent. Everyone seemed to pause and take a deep breath, then the regulars got up and started refilling their cups.

There were only three women working – one in the kitchen, one taking orders and money, and a young girl clearing tables. The young girl wiped down the booth in front of mine, then stopped to talk to the older couple. The man wanted to know where her glasses were. She told him, loudly, that she had her contacts in because her glasses were so old that she couldn’t see out of them anymore. He laughed and offered her his own glasses. “Wanna try these?” She grinned and shook her head. He must be a regular.

The woman that was with him stood up and carried her bottle of creamer back to the waitress, who tucked it under the counter. “Gonna have to order you some more soon,” she commented as she took the woman’s money. “Have a good day!”

“Ding!” When the older couple left, the man in the navy work shirt stood up and stretched. “Well, it’s been a long night,” he said. “I’m going home to sleep.” He handed some money to the waitress and stopped by the coffee pot. “Y’all want some more coffee ‘fore I leave?” He refilled his friends’ cups, tugged the door open, and sauntered out to his truck.

The front table was down to three men. They had finished eating and were leaning with their elbows on the table again. “You reckon them boys at the high school can win that game tomorrow night?” one of them asked. The other two shrugged and sipped their coffee.

The man in camouflage pants and the black shirt left, and there were only two. They refilled their cups and sat in silence for a few minutes. “Well,” the tall man in the grey work shirt said, “I got to go open up the store.” He took one last swallow of coffee and tossed a few bills onto the table. “See ya.”

An old man in faded jeans and a black leather jacket walked in as he walked out. He poured himself a cup of coffee and sat down at the front table. The waitress brought him an egg sandwich and he ate while the other man told him a story about a boy he knew that was having trouble with “the law”. They laughed, poured more coffee, and started talking about politics.

After a few more cups of coffee, they left. I followed them outside and got into my car. The sun was shining now and the sleepy little town had started to come alive.

I may never be a regular at the Kountry Kitchen, watching the sun come up while drinking coffee and sharing wisdom and gossip. But I know that tomorrow morning, they’ll be there.

They will laugh and talk and drink coffee. They will greet one another by name. They’ll probably wonder about the girl that was sitting in the corner today. They’ll wonder what my story is, why I was there, and who I belong to. Then they’ll pour more coffee and talk about football and the price of gasoline. Because that’s what they do. They’re the regulars.

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Called to Wait

I've never liked waiting for things. If there's something I want, I want it now. Patience is a virtue, and it is one that I am constantly working on and stuggling to practice.

I recently read an article about the Biblical roles of men and women in relationships. This is something I have noticed a lot of Christian writers and speakers focusing on lately, and I think it's because our culture tries to tell us that the sexes are equal. We are taught from society that women can do anything men can do and vice versa. We are taught that men and women were created equally, but when you look into the Scripture, you can see that is not the case.

God created men to be leaders. He gave them practical minds and leadership skills. He gave them dominion over all the other creatures of the world.

God created women to be helpers. He made them nurturing. He gave them the gifts of creativity and multi-tasking and the wonderful priveledge of bringing life into the world.

He created us very differently, because He had designed two very different roles for us to fill.

The article I read ("Designed To Be Different" by Candice Watters, The Brink Magazine, Fall 2010, Randall House Publishing) talked about these differences and how they affect our relationships. One part that especially stuck out to me was:

"My friend Carolyn McCulley illustrated one of these differences in a talk she gave about romance, 'Men trust God by risking rejection. Women trust God by waiting.' We're equally called to trust, but in different ways.

That's hard to hear. Why the difference? For women, it feels passive. For both, unfair. Yet from Genesis forward, God made male and female distinct. We are the same at the cross, equally in need of redemption, equally invited to receive it. But in our sexuality, we are not the same."

That's something I have never thought about before. Male and female are both called to trust God when it comes to relationships, but in different ways. And I have to admit, its a hard thing to do.

Because just like Mrs. Watters said in her article, waiting feels so passive. Finding a spouse is one of the most important things we will do on this earth. And it can be really hard to wait for God to send that person.

One of the hardest things for me to accept has been that I am not promised a spouse. I'm still not sure if I have accepted the fact that Mr. Right may never come. It's something that I have always assumed would happen. Getting married has always been in my plan. But I don't know if it is in God's plan or not. All I can do is trust and wait.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

The Little Things



Lately, I have been noticing the little things in life more and more. A kind word from a friend, a note in the mail, or someone complementing my outfit...those kinds of little things can have big effects when it comes to my mood. I can be having an all around crummy day and someone can write a one sentence greeting on my Facebook page or send me a silly joke in a text and POOF! My day is better. All because of a little thing.

Little things can have big impacts. Thankfully, God sends us little things like I mentioned above to remind us that He loves and cares for us and that we have friends that love and care for us, too. But God isn't the only one that uses little things to impact our lives.

Satan is a master at taking something extremely small and using it to throw us into a tailspin. How many times have you gotten angry or upset over a little thing? Unfortunately, for me, it's far too many times.

Just like happy comments can lift my spirit, I have a tendancy to let little snide remarks ruin my day. I let other people's bad attitudes dictate the way I feel and act. I let the little things that shouldn't matter - like the fact that one person isn't happy with something I did - get in the way of me experiencing the joy God wants me to have.

Why do the little things have so much control over me? I think it's because they are so unexpected and unpredictable. You can't plan spilling coffee on your favorite shirt on the way to school. It just happens. You don't wake up in the morning hoping that someone will be mean to you. It just happens. You don't plan on losing your keys or having a bad hair day. Those things just happen. And there isn't a thing you can do about it.

What I struggle to remember is that life is not always about how I feel. When the little things get me down, I have to remember that God still loves me. When I feel unappreciated, I have to remember that God is trying to reach me humility and that He sees the work I am doing and that He is with me through my discouragement. When I don't feel pretty, I have to remember that God created me and that I am beautiful in His eyes because I am His. Life is not about the way I feel, it's about knowing God's truths.

But that can be hard to remember when the little things blow up in your face... I love the chorus from Francesca Battistelli's new song, "The Stuff":

"This is the stuff that drives me crazy
This is the stuff that's getting to me lately
In the middle of my little mess
I forget how big I'm blessed
This is the stuff that gets under my skin
But I've gotta trust that You know exactly what You're doing
It may not be what I would choose
But this is the stuff You use."

Right now, I choose not to let the little things overwhelm me. I choose to focus on the little things that bring me joy instead. And I choose to focus on God instead of on myself - on His purpose for the lost keys and the bad hair days and the little messes of life.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Walking by faith

When I was little, one of my favorite cartoons was Winnie the Pooh. I must have watched my tape of Winnie the Pooh and Tigger Too thousands of times. In the movie, Rabbit gets angry with Tigger and decides to teach him a lesson.

Rabbit took Tigger deep into the woods, planning to get him lost and leave him to find his way out alone. In the process of trying to get Tigger lost, Rabbit ended up getting himself lost. Once he ditched Tigger, he wandered around in the woods for hours, until it finally got dark.

Alone in the mist, Rabbit started to see the woods as a really scary place. Every ribbit of a frog or snap of a twig made his skin crawl. His heart was beating fast. He was lost, alone and very afraid.

Have you ever felt that way? Too many times, we end up like Rabbit - wandering around in the dark. But that's not how God wants his people to live.

In John 8:12, Jesus said, "I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life." The last thing God wants is for us to walk around lost in the darkness. After all, how can we point others toward the Light if was can't see it ourselves?

God knew that this world would try to get us lost and confused. He knew that the darkness would be overwhelming for us. That's why He sent the Light of the world (Jesus) to save us from our sin and ourselves.

So, what happens when we feel lost and alone? Paul told the people at Corinth to "walk by faith, not by sight" (2 Cor. 5:7). If anyone knew what it was like to have to walk by faith, it was Paul.

Before he was a champion of the New Testament church, Paul was a big bully named Saul. He traveled around persecuting Christians. He had chosen to walk in the darkness of his sin. But on his way to Damascus (to pick on some more Christians, of course), he saw the Light of the world.

Have you ever walked out of a dark place into bright sunlight? It hurts your eyes, right? Well, after walking around in the dark for so long, when Saul saw the Light of Jesus, it hurt! He was literally blinded by the Light (Acts 9). Saul had to learn really quickly what it meant to walk by faith.

Eventually, Saul's sight was restored and he began to preach the Gospel. Everyone that heard him knew that he had been changed, and they all knew it had to be because of Christ. Nothing else could have taken Saul and turned him into Paul.

Paul didn't promise the people at Corinth that it would be easy to walk by faith. I'm sure it wasn't easy for him. In Acts 9:16, God said that Paul would have to suffer for Christ. We know that the Christian life is not perfect and that it's not always easy, but if we are faithful to God, He will be faithful to us.

Wondering what happened to Rabbit? Check out the video below:



You know, when we're wandering around in the mist, God knows where we are. He never gets lost. And He can show us the way home - if we walk by faith and follow Him.

Monday, November 15, 2010

What's in it for me?

When I first started this blog, I wrote a post titled "Generation Lost" about the generation of twenty-somethings that seem so scarce in our churches. I have never understood how people that were raised in church can just quit going.

I used to blame it on the fact that a lot of churches spoon-feed their young people with cool videos, special services, rocking music and all sorts of special events all through their youth. My generation has definitely been pampered. We haven't had to spend much time at all worrying about ministering to others. Instead, we were always being ministered to. Not that youth ministry is bad - I work in youth ministry at my church and I think it is a great thing. But we have to be careful not to get our kids into a "What's in it for me?" mindset. I think that a lot of young adults are so used to going to church for the cool youth events and for fellowship with their friends that they miss what it's really all about - worshiping the Lord and encouraging other believers in their walk with Christ.

So when kids graduate out of the youth group and are no longer constantly entertained by cool classes and events, a lot of them leave. They seek out the church that will give them what they want - an awesome band, or a coffee bar, or whatever the newest trend is. They go church hopping asking, "What's in it for me?" until they just drop out all together.

I have recently watched the small group of twenty-somethings at the church I currently attend disappear. It's not that anyone completely stopped going to church or pulled away from God, but some found new churches, others moved for school and some only make it every now and then. It's discouraging to sit in a Sunday school class as the only student. And my teacher and I have no idea how to encourage people to come for our "College and Career" class on Sundays. People my age that are single and in school or working just don't seem interested in church unless it's convenient or it offers them something they want. They all want to know, "What's in it for me?"

Although I know that church is not all about me, I have to admit I have been asking myself "What's in it for me?" more often lately. And I can honestly say that I understand how so many young adults end up discouraged and just stop coming to church.

It's not that I feel unwelcome in my congregation. The people at my church are encouraging and fun to be around and always willing to lend a hand if they can. They have welcomed me with open arms and have allowed me to minister to the young people of our church through our Wednesday night program and programs like UPWARD Basketball and Cheerleading. There are plenty of things that I can be involved in, and I enjoy the opportunities that I have there.

My problem is not that there's not a place for me to minister. My problem is not that there's not a place for me to worship. My problem - and I think the problem for a lot of twenty-somethings that are not married yet and still a little uncertain about their futures - is that there's no one else like me at my church.

Now, I know that I shouldn't base my church attendance of the attendance of others. I can almost hear my mother saying, "If so-and-so jumped off a bridge, would you jump too?" But it can be hard to be faithful when you feel like you're doing it all alone.

It's like no one knows what to do with me. I'm not married, so I can't be in the Young Married class. I can go in the Adult Class, as long as I don't mind hanging out with my parents and their friends. I could probably crash the teen class, but I'd better be prepared to hear about all the high school drama that I was so glad to escape years ago. There's just no good solution for the one person that doesn't fit in anywhere. I can't and don't expect the church to build a class around me. Besides, I would be the only one in it, and that wouldn't solve anything.

So, as much as I hate to do it, I have to ask, "What's in it for me?" How can the church minister to people like me? How does the church handle people that don't fit in?

I wish that I knew. Because even though I know that my church family loves me and wants what's best for me, I can't help but feeling like the leper that's hanging out by the gate. I'm constantly the "sore thumb" of the group - the oldest, or the youngest, or the third wheel, or the only one without kids, or the last poor soul that can't seem to get married, or the one that doesn't have a house of her own yet... the list goes on and on.

So for now, I just have to trust God. Sometimes I get caught up in the things that I don't have (like a husband and family of my own, for example). During those times, I have to remember that God has blessed me in different ways and that He has a reason for keeping those things from me at this point in my life.

In her book, Becoming More Than a Good Bible Study Girl, Lysa TerKeurst wrote, "Whenever I get an overly idyllic view of someone else's circumstances, I often remind myself out loud, 'I am not equipped to handle what they have - both good and bad.'" That's something I am working on. It's coming about slowly, but I'm working on it.

I am also working on taking my "What's in it for me?" and turning it into "What does God want to teach me through this?" That's coming about rather slowly, too. But when God allows us to go through struggles, rest assured that He has something in it for us.

So what is in it for me? What is God trying to teach me?

1. "...But we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; and patience, experience; and experience, hope; and hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us." Romans 5:3-5 - Patience is a virtue, and I don't possess it yet.

2. "Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers." Ephesians 4:29 - Um, ouch.

3. "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28 - Something good will come out of this struggle someday. Maybe I'll be the one that figures out how to make this twenty-something ministry work in my church. Who knows? Oh, wait... God does.

4. "There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she my please her husband." 1 Corinthians 7:34 - He's still working on me, and without the distractions of marriage and family responsibilites I can better focus on His Word.

5. "There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common unto man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it." 1 Corinthians 10:13 - When I am tempted to skip Sunday school and stay under the covers for an extra hour, I have to remember that God has provided me with so much through this church and that He has a purpose for me there. Even though things might not be perfect right now, God is faithful and He will make a place for me to learn, grow and worship.

6. "Now ye are the body of Christ, and members in particular. And God hath set some in the church, first apostles, secondarily prophets, thirdly teachers, after that miracles, then gifts of healings, helps, governments, diversities of tongues. Are all apostles? are all prophets? are all teachers? are all workers of miracles? Have all the gifts of healing? do all speak with tongues? do all interpret? But covet earnestly the best gifts: and yet shew I unto you a more excellent way." 1 Corinthians 12:27-31 - I am a part of the body of Christ and it is my duty to do my part. God has called me to a purpose that is just for me, and if I am faithful He will bless my efforts.

7. "Nevertheless God, that comforteth those that are cast down, comforted us..." 2 Corinthians 7:6 - Didn't I say earlier that it was hard to be faithful when you feel alone? Well, guess what? I'm not alone after all. God can and will comfort me in my time of need.

8. "But he that glorieth, let him glory in the Lord. For not he that commendeth himself is approved, but whom the Lord commendeth." 2 Corinthians 10:17-18 - It's not about me.

9. "Grace be unto you and peace from God the Father, and from our Lord Jesus Christ, Who gave himself for our sins, that he might deliver us from this present evil world, according to the will of God and our Father: To whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen." Galatians 1:3-5 - It's not about me.

10. "I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live, yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me." Galatians 2:20 - It's not about me.

11. "For ye are all the children of God by faith in Christ Jesus. For as many of you as have been baptized into Christ have put on Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus." Galatians 3:26-28 - I am a child of God. And it's not about me. (Am I the only one seeing a theme here?)

12. "And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, it we faint not." Galatians 6:9 - My discouragement over my lack of peers in my church may get me down, but I must continue to be faithful.

13. "And the aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed." Titus 2:3-5 - I should take this time in classes with my elders to soak up their wisdom and learn how to be a godly woman.

14. "Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you." 2 Thessalonians 5:16-18 - Enough said, don't you think?

15. "Let no man despise thy youth: but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity. Till I come, give attendance to reading, to exhortation, to doctrine. Neglect not the gift that is in thee...meditate upon these things; give thyself wholly to them, that thy profiting my appear to all." 1 Timothy 4:12-15 - It's hard to ask "What's in it for me?" after reading that verse. I have to be an example for others! If I quit, there's a generation behind me that might do the same.

16. "Thou therefore endure hardness, as a good soldier of Jesus Christ." 2 Timothy 2:3 - I have to be loyal to Christ in all circumstances.

17. "I am the Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the ending, saith the Lord, which is, and which was, and which is to come, the Almighty." Revelation 1:8 - It's all about Him.

18. "For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." John 3:16 - So what's in it for me? Jesus. And He's enough.