There are tons of these tips. They range from basic things to extremely specific (and sometimes ridiculous) plans for dates and ways to make your girl swoon. Some I agree with and some I don't. I don't expect a guy to be totally whipped. In fact, I don't find that attractive at all.
It's important for girls to remember that real guys are not going to act like the ones we see in romantic comedies. And thank goodness that they don't, because if all guys were as perfect as Matthew McConaughey and Ryan Gossling, I wouldn't have a chance at getting one. Guys are going to be guys. They are going to be annoying and oblivious sometimes. They are going to be sweaty and smelly and fart. They are going to forget your anniversary and Valentine's Day every once in a while (and buy you something really, really nice to make up for it).
Don't expect for them to be perfect. Because you won't find one who is. But you're not perfect either, so cut your guy some slack. With all that said, here are some of my Tips for Guys...
1. Be confident, but not cocky.
Confidence is attractive. The way you present yourself when meeting people is important. Stand your ground, don't back down just because people disagree with your opinions, and don't second guess yourself. If you're good at something, own it. But don't be cocky. Don't act like you are better than everyone else. In other words, be like AJ, not like Johnny.
2. Open the door for her.
This is always nice. For bonus points, walk around to her side of the car and open the car door for her. It's not something that is necessary, but it is such a sweet gesture. It makes her feel special. Trust me.
3. Try to get along with her family.
There are no guarantees that you and her family are going to get along, but you should do your best to try to make it work. Be respectful. She'll be stressed about you meeting them for the first time already, so don't make it worse by going into it with a chip on your shoulder. Just be nice.
4. Give her some space.
We love hanging out with you. We really do. And we want to feel wanted and needed. But sometimes, we want to hang out with our girl friends. Sometimes, we need to focus on school work or other stuff besides you. And sometimes, we just need some alone time and feel like this...
The absolute worst thing you can do is try to control your girl's every move. She doesn't have to report to you about where she is and what she's doing every minute of every day. You've got to trust each other and be able to function when you aren't together. So give her some breathing room.
5. Encourage her to follow her dreams.
I met a guy on campus when I was a freshman in college. He and I both had some time to kill before our 1:00 political science class, and usually I'd just grab a sandwich or something and eat lunch on the quad. He did the same thing, so we got to be kind of friendly and would sit together and talk. He asked for my number and wanted to go on a date, but I never gave it to him and I never went. Want to know why? Because when he asked me what I was majoring in and I told him that I had decided to major in Creative Writing, he laughed at me. "Creative writing? Why would anybody major in that? Are you gonna work at McDonald's for the rest of your life?" Those few words were enough for me to know that this guy was absolutely not the one for me. He was nice. He was funny. He was even attractive. But I just couldn't be with somebody who was going to ridicule what I wanted to do with my future.
Another guy that I sort of dated was actually interested in my writing. He asked to see my stories and he would always ask me what I was working on at the time. One night, we went to get ice cream and walked around campus for a while and he listened to me talk about writing for at least an hour. I'm sure he probably tuned out at some point, but for the most part, he seemed interested. And he always encouraged me to write and to do something with my writing. It felt good to know that he believed in me.
Girls tend to be pretty insecure. So encourage your girl and let her know that you believe in her.
6. Never wear skinny jeans. Crocs are also off limits. And flip-flops should only be worn when you are at the pool or the beach.
7. Learn about the things she likes.
Quick - what is your girl's favorite soft drink? Candy? Magazine? Perfume? Restaurant? Store? Sports team? If you can't name those things, you have some homework to do.
8. Do things that she enjoys.
This one is all about give and take. Girls do a lot of things for guys. We go to Buffalo Wild Wings to watch ballgames that we really don't care about. We watch you play video games. We let you have poker night with the guys. (If your girl doesn't do those things, I'm sorry. She should.) So it would be nice for you to do a few things that you don't necessarily enjoy just because it makes us happy. If your girl loves art, take her to a museum or go to a painting class together. Take her to see her favorite band or a favorite play even if you don't enjoy that kind of thing. Go shopping with her (I know, shopping sucks, but you don't have to go every single time). Just spend some time doing what she wants to do every once in a while.
9. Don't talk down to her.
When you're trying to explain sports or how to change a tire or give directions to a place she has never been or some other "guy" thing, do not talk to your girl like she's stupid. I can't tell you how many guys do this, especially when they are talking about sports (and I actually happen to know a good bit about sports). Girls aren't stupid. We just have different skills and different life experiences than you do. I might not know every single rule of football or how to change the oil in my car, but I guarantee there is stuff that I know how to do that you don't (like how to get a grease stain out of a shirt and how to make the perfect cup of hot chocolate). This is something that girls struggle with, too, so make sure to call your girl out on it if she does it. I commented to a guy once that he was annoying me because he was talking down to me and he told me that I did the same thing to him when we would talk about politics or religion. And you know what? He was right. (I hate it when that happens.) So we both needed an attitude adjustment.
10. LISTEN.
When your girl has a problem and wants to talk about it, just listen to her. Don't immediately start trying to solve her problem. Sometimes we just need to vent. Watch this video and pay really close attention to what the girl is saying. Every girl in the world has felt this way at least once...
11. Have a sense of humor.
If a guy can't make me laugh, he is not going to get very far. In fact, he probably won't even get a first date. A sense of humor is super important and extremely attractive. It is especially great when you have inside jokes with just you and your girl.
12. Pray for her and with her.
I have never been on a date where a guy offered to pray when our meal came. That's one thing that I am looking for in a guy. I want someone who is bold in his faith. Pray for your girlfriend and even more importantly, pray with her. Praying together as a couple creates an amazing bond between two people, and it is a special time with God when you can go to Him together.
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