What's in it for me?

When I first started this blog, I wrote a post titled "Generation Lost" about the generation of twenty-somethings that seem so scarce in our churches. I have never understood how people that were raised in church can just quit going.

I used to blame it on the fact that a lot of churches spoon-feed their young people with cool videos, special services, rocking music and all sorts of special events all through their youth. My generation has definitely been pampered. We haven't had to spend much time at all worrying about ministering to others. Instead, we were always being ministered to. Not that youth ministry is bad - I work in youth ministry at my church and I think it is a great thing. But we have to be careful not to get our kids into a "What's in it for me?" mindset. I think that a lot of young adults are so used to going to church for the cool youth events and for fellowship with their friends that they miss what it's really all about - worshiping the Lord and encouraging other believers in their walk with Christ.

So when kids graduate out of the youth group and are no longer constantly entertained by cool classes and events, a lot of them leave. They seek out the church that will give them what they want - an awesome band, or a coffee bar, or whatever the newest trend is. They go church hopping asking, "What's in it for me?" until they just drop out all together.

I have recently watched the small group of twenty-somethings at the church I currently attend disappear. It's not that anyone completely stopped going to church or pulled away from God, but some found new churches, others moved for school and some only make it every now and then. It's discouraging to sit in a Sunday school class as the only student. And my teacher and I have no idea how to encourage people to come for our "College and Career" class on Sundays. People my age that are single and in school or working just don't seem interested in church unless it's convenient or it offers them something they want. They all want to know, "What's in it for me?"

Although I know that church is not all about me, I have to admit I have been asking myself "What's in it for me?" more often lately. And I can honestly say that I understand how so many young adults end up discouraged and just stop coming to church.

It's not that I feel unwelcome in my congregation. The people at my church are encouraging and fun to be around and always willing to lend a hand if they can. They have welcomed me with open arms and have allowed me to minister to the young people of our church through our Wednesday night program and programs like UPWARD Basketball and Cheerleading. There are plenty of things that I can be involved in, and I enjoy the opportunities that I have there.

My problem is not that there's not a place for me to minister. My problem is not that there's not a place for me to worship. My problem - and I think the problem for a lot of twenty-somethings that are not married yet and still a little uncertain about their futures - is that there's no one else like me at my church.

Now, I know that I shouldn't base my church attendance of the attendance of others. I can almost hear my mother saying, "If so-and-so jumped off a bridge, would you jump too?" But it can be hard to be faithful when you feel like you're doing it all alone.

It's like no one knows what to do with me. I'm not married, so I can't be in the Young Married class. I can go in the Adult Class, as long as I don't mind hanging out with my parents and their friends. I could probably crash the teen class, but I'd better be prepared to hear about all the high school drama that I was so glad to escape years ago. There's just no good solution for the one person that doesn't fit in anywhere. I can't and don't expect the church to build a class around me. Besides, I would be the only one in it, and that wouldn't solve anything.

So, as much as I hate to do it, I have to ask, "What's in it for me?" How can the church minister to people like me? How does the church handle people that don't fit in?

I wish that I knew. Because even though I know that my church family loves me and wants what's best for me, I can't help but feeling like the leper that's hanging out by the gate. I'm constantly the "sore thumb" of the group - the oldest, or the youngest, or the third wheel, or the only one without kids, or the last poor soul that can't seem to get married, or the one that doesn't have a house of her own yet... the list goes on and on.

So for now, I just have to trust God. Sometimes I get caught up in the things that I don't have (like a husband and family of my own, for example). During those times, I have to remember that God has blessed me in different ways and that He has a reason for keeping those things from me at this point in my life.

In her book, Becoming More Than a Good Bible Study Girl, Lysa TerKeurst wrote, "Whenever I get an overly idyllic view of someone else's circumstances, I often remind myself out loud, 'I am not equipped to handle what they have - both good and bad.'" That's something I am working on. It's coming about slowly, but I'm working on it.

I am also working on taking my "What's in it for me?" and turning it into "What does God want to teach me through this?" That's coming about rather slowly, too. But when God allows us to go through struggles, rest assured that He has something in it for us.

So what is in it for me? What is God trying to teach me?

1. "...But we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; and patience, experience; and experience, hope; and hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us." Romans 5:3-5 - Patience is a virtue, and I don't possess it yet.

2. "Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers." Ephesians 4:29 - Um, ouch.

3. "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28 - Something good will come out of this struggle someday. Maybe I'll be the one that figures out how to make this twenty-something ministry work in my church. Who knows? Oh, wait... God does.

4. "There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she my please her husband." 1 Corinthians 7:34 - He's still working on me, and without the distractions of marriage and family responsibilites I can better focus on His Word.

5. "There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common unto man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it." 1 Corinthians 10:13 - When I am tempted to skip Sunday school and stay under the covers for an extra hour, I have to remember that God has provided me with so much through this church and that He has a purpose for me there. Even though things might not be perfect right now, God is faithful and He will make a place for me to learn, grow and worship.

6. "Now ye are the body of Christ, and members in particular. And God hath set some in the church, first apostles, secondarily prophets, thirdly teachers, after that miracles, then gifts of healings, helps, governments, diversities of tongues. Are all apostles? are all prophets? are all teachers? are all workers of miracles? Have all the gifts of healing? do all speak with tongues? do all interpret? But covet earnestly the best gifts: and yet shew I unto you a more excellent way." 1 Corinthians 12:27-31 - I am a part of the body of Christ and it is my duty to do my part. God has called me to a purpose that is just for me, and if I am faithful He will bless my efforts.

7. "Nevertheless God, that comforteth those that are cast down, comforted us..." 2 Corinthians 7:6 - Didn't I say earlier that it was hard to be faithful when you feel alone? Well, guess what? I'm not alone after all. God can and will comfort me in my time of need.

8. "But he that glorieth, let him glory in the Lord. For not he that commendeth himself is approved, but whom the Lord commendeth." 2 Corinthians 10:17-18 - It's not about me.

9. "Grace be unto you and peace from God the Father, and from our Lord Jesus Christ, Who gave himself for our sins, that he might deliver us from this present evil world, according to the will of God and our Father: To whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen." Galatians 1:3-5 - It's not about me.

10. "I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live, yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me." Galatians 2:20 - It's not about me.

11. "For ye are all the children of God by faith in Christ Jesus. For as many of you as have been baptized into Christ have put on Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus." Galatians 3:26-28 - I am a child of God. And it's not about me. (Am I the only one seeing a theme here?)

12. "And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, it we faint not." Galatians 6:9 - My discouragement over my lack of peers in my church may get me down, but I must continue to be faithful.

13. "And the aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed." Titus 2:3-5 - I should take this time in classes with my elders to soak up their wisdom and learn how to be a godly woman.

14. "Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you." 2 Thessalonians 5:16-18 - Enough said, don't you think?

15. "Let no man despise thy youth: but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity. Till I come, give attendance to reading, to exhortation, to doctrine. Neglect not the gift that is in thee...meditate upon these things; give thyself wholly to them, that thy profiting my appear to all." 1 Timothy 4:12-15 - It's hard to ask "What's in it for me?" after reading that verse. I have to be an example for others! If I quit, there's a generation behind me that might do the same.

16. "Thou therefore endure hardness, as a good soldier of Jesus Christ." 2 Timothy 2:3 - I have to be loyal to Christ in all circumstances.

17. "I am the Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the ending, saith the Lord, which is, and which was, and which is to come, the Almighty." Revelation 1:8 - It's all about Him.

18. "For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." John 3:16 - So what's in it for me? Jesus. And He's enough.

Every Second Matters

The video posted above is an AT&T commercial advertising their broadband network. At the end of the commercial, they use the tag line "every second matters."

I love the way the video is split - showing what could have happened in each instance, all depending on the timing of something small.

This video reminds me of two things: First, that every second matters and that we are responsible for the way we use our time. Second, that God works through the little things, every second of the day.

One of my favorite quotes is: "Choices, no matter how small, do matter. Your day-to-day decisions have a way of determining your destiny. The person you are becoming - situation by situation, choice by choice, decision by decision - is the person you will be forever." David Ausberger

Our lives are all hanging on one choice. One decision, one situation, one choice can change your life forever. Just like one second made a difference in the video, it can make a difference in your life.

Thankfully, we don't have to rely on AT&T to orchestrate every second of our lives. The Master of the Universe is in charge of our every second. He decides when to give us open doors. He decides when to give us those choices, decisions and situations that make such a difference in our lives.

That doesn't mean that God is just a puppeteer, sitting up in Heaven pulling our strings. He gave us minds that think and reason. He gave us each our own free will. He gives us the freedom to use our seconds as we please.

"God gave you the gift of 86,400 seconds today. Have you used one to say 'thank you'?" - William Arthur

"So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom." Psalm 90:12

"For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ; that every one may receive the things done in his body, according to that he hath done, whether it be good or bad." 2 Corinthians 5:10

Every second matters.

How will you use yours?

A Woman's Place

I love to read, so there are days when I log onto blogger and just press the "next blog" button to see what people are writing about. There are some blogs that I immediately pass by, and there are others that I like enough to actually add to my blogger reading list and visit again.

A blog that I recently found was written by a female preacher. As I read a few posts, looking for the place where she explained where it was okay to be a female preacher, I was amazed at how much this person seemed to whine and complain about her chosen profession. Many of her posts were complaints about being a woman in a man's world.

I have seen other posts like this before - from bloggers that claim to be Christian writers and teachers, but support gay rights, abortion, and tons of other issues that are blatantly against the teachings of Christ.

The thing that upsets me the most about this is that there are people out there in cyberspace that are unknowingly being taught false doctrine through these kind of blogs and websites. It's something that we all know will happen. Throughout the Bible, we are warned that people will try to twist the Gospel and teach false doctrine. In 2 Peter 2:1, Peter said, "But there were false prophets also among the people, even as there shall be false teachers among you, who privily shall bring in damnable heresies, even denying the Lord that bought them, and bring upon themselves swift destruction."

I am especially upset by what I call "Christian feminism." Apparently, there are a lot of Christian people (women and men) that get hung up on this issue. There are people that cringe at the sound of the word "submission" when it comes to a wife submitting to her husband. Others believe that the only reason women were not included in church leadership in the Bible is because of the rules of society at the time.

First of all, let's examine the example that Jesus set for us. When it was time for Him to choose His disciples - the top twelve people that would carry on His ministry when He was gone - He chose twelve men. Jesus was not about conforming to the society He lived in. During His ministry, He upset all the religious leaders because He did things that were socially unacceptable. He ate with publicans and sinners. He healed people on the Sabbath Day. He talked to a promiscuous woman at a well in Samaria. None of those things were "politically correct," so I don't think that Jesus did anything to conform to the world. After all, He is the one that told us NOT to conform to the world in His sermon on the mount in Matthew 5:13-16.

There is a reason that He placed men in these leadership roles. From creation, God ordained men to have dominion over all things (Genesis 1:28). Then, when He created women, He created them to be a "help meet" for man (Genesis 2:18). Men were created to be leaders. Women were created to be helpers.

God has filled His Word with instructions to both men and women. Before we examine the roles of men and women in church positions, let's look at the roles God assigned to men and women in the family.

Ephesians 5:22-25 says, "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it."

God created man to be the head of the household. Women, no matter how much it makes you cringe to hear it, we are supposed to submit to our husbands.

I think the reason that so many women have problems with these verses is because they misinterpret the word "submit." These verses do not mean that your husband can be a dictator. They don't mean that when he yells "jump" you have to ask "how high?". These verses actually give men a huge responsibility. They mean that men have to strong leaders. Men have to be able to make important decisions. Men should be rooted in the Word of God so they can spiritually lead a family. And men have to be willing to be the protectors and providers for their wives and children.

In reality, those verses should be encouraging for women. In those verses, I read that my husband should love me like Christ loved the church. Do you realize that God is commanding your husband to love you with a love that is so pure and deep and strong that it can't even be fathomed? Basically, these verses are telling us to trust in our husbands and look to them for leadership. In return, our husbands are supposed to romance us and cherish us and love us! I think that sounds like a pretty sweet deal.

So in our families, God expects the man to be the head of the household. Does that mean that He wants all women to stay home and be the picture perfect housewife like June Cleaver? Absolutely not. Read Proverbs 31:10-31. The Proverbs 31 woman worked outside her home and helped provide for her family. She purchased real estate, worked a vineyard, managed maidens, raised children, helped the poor... AND she honored her husband. She submitted to him and trusted him, and he could trust in her (vs. 11).

God created women to be creative. He gave us organizational skills and leadership skills that we can use in many different ways. Women can be doctors, lawyers, teachers, authors...ANYTHING they want to be. And He wants women to work in the church. He didn't give us talents so that we can hide them and let them go to waste (check out the Parable of Talents in Matthew 24). He wants us to use our talents for Him!

In 1 Timothy, Paul talks about the roles of men and women in the church. He makes it clear in Chapter 3 that men are to have the leadership roles within the church. In 1 Timothy 2:9-15, he talks about women being modest and godly and says, "I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence." This is especially a touchy verse. Some people like to think that Paul only said this because of the cultural rules of the time, but we've already learned that the customs of the world don't have any influence on the ways of God. Others like to take this verse to extremes and say that women have no place in the church, but that's not the case either.

Titus 2:2-5 says, "The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed."

God chose men to be leaders in the church (according to 1 Timothy 3:1-13), but He has a place for women there, too. He needs us to work teaching children and ministering to other women and supporting the men that He placed in leadership roles over us.

I like the fact that God created women to be the softer more gentle sex. I like that He created men to be our protectors and providers. I like the fact that He has a place for me, even though it's not in the spotlight. After all, working for God is not about gaining glory or recognition. It's about submitting to God's will, trusting His plan and respecting His authority.

In fact, that is exactly why I think God set men in dominion over women. There are many times in the Bible where our relationship with Christ is compared to marriage. We, as the church, are called the Bride of Christ. Christ is often compared to a groom, while God is our Heavenly Father.

Husbands are supposed to love their wives like Christ loved the church. We are to submit to our husbands' authority like we would submit to Christ. According to 2 Corinthians 3:17, "...where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty." We find freedom when we commit our lives to Christ and submit to His will.

Think about how "free" you would feel if you stopped struggling against the role you were created to fulfill. When we surrender to the fact that we are the weaker sex and let the men in our lives fulfill the leadership roles they were created for, when we submit to our husbands, it takes stress off our shoulders. It makes our lives more harmonious and makes us free to find and fulfill our God-designed roles in our home, church, community and world.

Compassion is the Key

Last night, I visited the church I grew up in for their District WAC Meeting. The ladies there have had a huge role in shaping my view of what it means to be a godly woman.

Mrs. Ginger Peoples, the Field Worker for the Vernon District WAC, spoke about compassion. She read from the book of Jude.

The society Jude lived in was much like the one we live in today. People were evil. They didn't even try to hide their sins. They mocked the things of God. They were hard people to live with, but in verse 22, Jude tells us: "And of some, have compassion, making a difference."

Isn't that something you want to do? Don't we all want to make a difference?

If we're going to do that, we have to show compassion to others.

Look at Matthew 25:35-40. In these verses, Jesus tells us to feed the hungry, bring water to the thirsty, take in strangers, clothe the naked, visit the sick and minister to those in prison. We should do those things with compassion in our hearts. We have to minister to people right where they are, even when they are in places where we don't want to be.

I've never understood why some churches talk about reaching the lost, but turn away people that try to come in because they're not dressed right, or don't live right, or don't come from the right side of town. We can't make people "clean up" before they come to church. Even if they do clean up their acts, it will only be an outward cleansing until they know Jesus. It's important for us to portray cleanliness. We should treat our bodies as temples; we should respect the places that God has given us to live and to worship in. But until we're cleaned on the inside, by the blood of Jesus, all the other things are just a show. We have to show people that they can come just as they are. That's how Jesus wants them. Just as they are, but willing to change from the inside out. That's how we should want them, too. And we should love them, right where they are.

We also have to have faith and believe in people. It can be hard to believe in someone after they've disappointed or hurt you, but we cannot expect them to fail. We are called to have compassion on them, and to encourage and motivate them to succeed. When we expect failure, we may think that we're shielding ourselves from the pain of disappointment, but in reality we're setting ourselves and the people we love up to fall. Remember that Jesus believed in you enough to die for you. He doesn't ask us to die for the people in our lives - He just wants us to love and encourage them.

So never give up. There's no such thing as a lost cause. Jesus didn't give up on us, and He is unwilling for people to give up on sharing His love with others. He wants us to "sing until the whole world hears" (Casting Crowns). He wants us to proclaim His goodness and mercy and power to everyone we meet. He wants us to go into a sinful and dying world and show them the same compassion that He showed to us.

If you want to make a difference, compassion is your key.

No Questions Asked

I'm sure most of you saw the National Championship football game between Alabama and Texas (Roll Tide!). If you did, then I'm sure you saw Colt McCoy's statement at the end of the game.

What he said has really stuck out in my mind for the last few weeks.

"I always give God the glory. I never question why things happen the way they do. God is in control of my life. And I know that if nothing else, I'm
standing on the Rock."


Colt McCoy, University of Texas Quarterback

That is an awesome statement of faith.

How many times do we question God? We pray for something to happen and when it doesn't come about as fast as we wanted or it doesn't happen like we planned, we start asking God why.

What if we had a "no questions asked" kind of faith? What if we spent less time asking questions and more time listening for direction? How much more could we accomplish for God that way?

"But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him." Hebrews 11:6

My brain is sore!

When I logged on to my blog a few days ago, my blog list showed that one of my friends had updated her blog. The title of her post was "My toes are SORE!" which peaked my interest, so I clicked on the link to check it out.

Her post was great - she talked about the Missions Conference we had at church and told about a sermon that one of the missionaries had given. He had talked about our duty as Christians and about being a missionary right where you are.

Well, I read the entire post and there was no mention about toes being sore. So I'm thinking this is an inside joke or something, and it's really bothering me. My mom walked into the kitchen and I said, "You know, it really aggravates me when I don't know what people are talking about."

She looks over my shoulder at the blog post. "What do you mean?"

"The title doesn't go with the post," I said. "And I can't figure it out."

"Well, what's the post about?" Mom asked.

"A sermon that one of the missionaries gave this week."

My mom laughed. "Did she say that she felt convicted during the sermon?" she asked.

"Well, yeah," I say. "So?"

"So... haven't you ever heard people say the preacher is stepping on their toes? She means that the preacher stepped on her toes all night, so now they're sore."

DUH!

Since I refuse to believe that I'm that stupid, I'm chalking this one up to being young. That's what it is, right? Right?