Three babies and a wedding

Somewhere among the stuffed bookshelves in my house is an Emily Post book on etiquette.  I can't find it, so it isn't doing me any good.  Besides, I'm not sure if Emily is still the go-to person for what is and isn't socially expected and acceptable these days anyway.  

I have gotten to that age where all my friends are starting to settle down.  Within the last few months, three friends have had babies and one has gotten married.  Good for them.  I'm happy for them, really.  But all this settling is having a profound impact on my wallet.  This leads me to my etiquette question - what is expected from me when an old friend gets married and/or has a baby? 

I'm obviously not talking about a best friend who I see all the time here.  In that case, I expect to be asked to be in the wedding and I should most definitely be made the baby's godmother (because, really, every kid needs an awesome godmother to spoil them and teach them things their parents don't really want them to know, like Lamp Chop's "The Song That Doesn't End").  

I'm talking about people that I rarely see or talk to anymore, but used to be close with.  People I was friends with in high school (let's not mention how many years ago that was..ahem, almost ten).  I want to get them something to show that I am happy for them and to send them well wishes, but just what am I supposed to send?  Is $20 a good limit?  I used to think so, but have you ever shopped a bridal registry list and tried to buy something for twenty bucks?  You're stuck with towels (boring), a hand mixer (she doesn't even know how to cook), a random piece of china that she'll probably never use, or that mini-crock pot that really has no purpose for even existing.  And what about when a good guy friend gets married to a girl that you really don't know.  Do you buy him a gift?  People even have "handy-man" showers and wedding registries for men these days, and $20 goes absolutely nowhere when guys are asking for lawn mowers and power tools.  So what's a girl to do?   

Then there are baby gifts.  Have you ever shopped for a friend's baby shower before?  Everything in the store is so stinkin' cute and I talk myself into spending way more than I planned.  "Look, it's an Alabama piggy bank!  They can use this to save for the baby's college.  Look, this has ruffles and bows!  Cute!  Adorable!  It has an owl on it and you know they're decorating the nursery with owls..."  (Yes, that is a real conversation that I have had with myself recently concerning one of the baby gifts for one of the three friends mentioned above.  Don't laugh at me.)

And my next question - do I have to buy a gift for every baby that a couple has?  I mean, the first one is a big deal.  But if a friend decides that she and her husband must populate the entire planet and keep having kids, am I obligated to buy something every time?  I mean, they can recycle most of that stuff, can't they?

I asked a guy friend this question last night.  "Would they buy you something if you were getting married?" he asked.  Hmm...  That's a good question, I guess, but it is one that I can't really answer.  His solution - "If you think you have to get them something, get a gift card."

Well, that's practical and everything, but that just isn't any fun.

He also said, "I'm glad I'm not a girl, because thinking about that kind of stuff must be exhausting."

It is.

So, Dear Emily Post, 

All my friends are engaged and pregnant and I am going broke.  What do I do?